This morning I got a text from my husband informing me he had just been laid off from his job.
After almost a year and a half of marriage we had really started to settle into a comfortable situation. Neither of us makes or made a ton of money but for being 22 and 24 we both have decent jobs. We don't ooze extra money every month but hey we can afford things. But now after two years my husband just gets laid off with no warning. Just 10 o'clock- you're laid off - and then 10:30 you are on your way home never to return again.
I don't think I would be so mad if it weren't for the fact of who DIDN'T get laid off. My husband works in IT, has a four year degree and has worked hard for the past two years for his company. Yet HE is the one to be laid off, not the guy who was just hired six months ago with no degree. It just screams unfair to me and I wish I could scream that at whoever made this decision and make it somehow matter.
Now we are faced with something we've never had to face before. The fact that it could be two weeks or two years until he finds a decent job again. The fact that our health benefits are done at the end of July. But hey! It wasn't performance based! Just cutting back! Hey! That's great! Maybe I'll just start cutting back on my mortgage payment! That makes me feel so much better!
I'm being pissy but I don't really care. It's just something that you don't ever think will ever really happen to you. Yeah you hear about it in the news and your friends friend just got laid off and your uncle and third cousin but it's never something you think that you will actually have to face yourself.
Walking into my home with a cardboard box of my husbands work belongings sitting on the floor was not in the plan. Having to support my family on my income alone was not in the plan. I guess we're lucky. We don't have a baby on the way. We're healthy. We have some money in savings. I have a full time job, sell real estate on the side, and am able to bring in a little spare change from this blog. But as I sit here typing this is the dark on my iPhone at midnight I feel a lot of emotions but none of them are lucky.
I know that things happen for a reason and God has a plan for us, but I'm filled with doubt. Did I bring this on by being prideful? I'm proud of how far we have come for our age. I'm proud to have a college education, a husband, a house, and a full time job at 22. Perhaps I've been too proud. It's truly a humbling experience to go from feeling confident and secure one day and broken the next. I thank God everyday for everything he has blessed us with and will continue to do so. I will put faith in him, but I know that I will still have worry and doubt as to what might happen next.
Anyway. I'm doing better now then this morning when I started sobbing in the back room of my office blubbering on to my coworker about mortgage payments and health insurance. So I guess it's time to stop ranting and feeling sorry for myself since its nothing I can control anyway. Onward and upward.