So over the last year I've been posting about my weight loss journey and posting monthly updates here on the blog. You mayyyy have noticed that I've been a little quiet about it lately, my last update was when I was 14 months in when I was 88 pounds down I'm about 16 1/2 months in now! Why have I been quiet? Well, first off NO I have not given up but I have hit what seems to be like a plateau for me which has been keeping me frustrated and away from blogging. While I'm still frustrated I'm learning to accept where I am and wanted to give an update.
The good news is that I have hit 90 pounds lost! Woohoo!!!
The bad news is 90 pounds lost is only 2 pounds down from where I was 2.5 months ago...and I've been stuck here...ugh!
I've hit a few mini plateaus along the way of this weight loss journey but I've always managed to break through them and have lost weight consistently the first 14 months of this journey. This is really the first time I've been stuck for a length of time! It's frustrating, especially because I really wanted to try and hit it hard these past two months to get ready for summer and rock a bikini on the beach, but honestly I can't be too frustrated with myself because I know what I've done wrong. I've been on a vicious cycle of being really good with my diet during the week and then getting more lax on the weekend (as I have throughout this whole process) but lately it has really been affecting my progress. 90 pounds down puts me at 156 pounds: typically I will weight that on Thursday/Friday, sometimes even a little under that on Friday or Saturday, then the weekend happens and I eat and drink too much and come monday morning I'm back up to weighing 159/160 and it takes me all week long to get back to 156. The result? A whole lot of up and down and up and down the last two months!!!!
My goal right now is to make it to 100 pounds lost total which is only 10 pounds away (which originally seemed like NOTHING after having lost 90 pounds) but I'm learning now that these last 10 pounds will not come off quite as easily as the first 90 did!! Could I get there faster if I stayed 100% on track on the weekends? Probably. Am I going to commit to doing that 100% Probably not. Here's why: one of the things that has kept me motivated to stay on track these past 16 months is knowing that every week I give myself a little break. Yes I am on a diet but I still get to eat a hamburger on the weekend, I still get to splurge and drink a whole bottle of wine on a Saturday night, knowing that I haven't given up any food completely and there is a time every week I can have a little break keeps me on track during the week and ready to rededicate myself and focus every single Monday to NOT give up and keep pushing. I've tried to lose weight a million times before this and nothing has ever worked: I've finally found a way that is working for me and I'm not going to kill myself to get these last 10 pounds by switching to a lifestyle that I can't sustain in the long term. Because really, this has been a lifestyle change. I'm not going to get to loose the next 10 pounds and then everything goes back to how it was before: I'm going to have to keep on exercising, I'm going to have to keep on eating healthy to maintain the weight loss and so I'm focusing on practicing the kind of lifestyle that I can sustain in the long term, and for me that means giving myself a little break every week and so if that means my progress is slowing down, I'm learning to accept that for right now.
Because honestly, if I can take a second to brag, even if I'm stuck at the moment I've make a TON of freaking progress already. I've lost 90 pounds. I have a healthy BMI for the first time in my life. I can fit into a size SIX. At my heaviest I was probably a size 18/20 and I've been a size 12 since junior high! I've never in my life been a six!!! I remember the picture on the left: those size 16 skinny jeans were TIGHT and digging into my belly. On the right I've got a new pair of skinies on, but they are a size six and fit perfectly!
I can go into a fancy store like BCBG and pick a formal dress off the rack, try it on and it FITS. I had an awards banquet to go to for my husband a few weeks ago that I need a fancy dress for. I couldn't believe I could go into that store and fit into this size 6 dress. I remember when I was a freshman in college I bought a dress for a formal from BCBG and it was a size 12, and that was BEFORE I really put on most of my weight. I'm smaller now than I have ever been in my life and have blown away the goals I originally set for myself when I was 246 pounds. I had no idea what I was capable of doing until I actually committed myself to TRY.
This picture is the most recent one of myself that I have: it's from just this past weekend when we went out wine tasting with friends. I felt ADORABLE in that sun dress. I'm happy with my body for the first time in a LONG time and for right now, I'm ok with this! We had so much fun wine tasting and had a fun picnic at the end of the trip with lots of different cheese and bread and crackers and salami and fruit I and I completly enjoyed just eating what I felt like and not worrying about tracking my calories for the day and just having fun! Was I up on the scale the next day? Yes. Did I ruin all the progress I made over the past 16 months with that one weekend? No. One thing I have noticed is even though I really haven't lost weight these past two months I have been going down in inches which is sometimes more important than the scale anyway!
So for now...I'm staying content. I'm not giving up but I am realizing that after 16 months and 90 pounds lost I'm not going to make as much progress as fast as I have in the past. I'm going to keep pushing myself daily to still ultimately meet my 100 pounds goal but I'm not going to kill myself to get there. There is no deadline for me! I don't have to be there next week or next month or even next year. I'm 100% more healthy now than I ever have been in my life and THAT is worth celebrating.